I watched the Dark Shadows movie today. I found it to be exactly as bad as all the reviews said, but perhaps for different reasons. I didn't find it to be offensively bad (until the last fifteen minutes which are borderline unwatchable in their bizarre "HOW DOES FILMMAKING"), just really, really boring. I watched it with my dad who had seen a large amount of the original series (I'd never seen an episode, for reference), and everything he was telling me sounded interesting, but the way they displayed it on screen was just... Dull. The comedy didn't work, at all, the visual design was very nice, but it just looked like another Tim Burton movie... And yeah, it just felt really boring.
I'm sorry for doubting you, internet. You lied to me about Speed Racer, how could I know you were telling the truth about this one?